I’ve reached a mile stone. I know I’m on the edge of a personal and professional breakthrough, I can sense it and it’s petrifying.
At the beginning of the month, I went skiing. That was also petrifying. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t point the skis in the one direction they needed to go. Down.
As I hugged the hill, trying to bend my body around and push the skis down the slope, I knew I was fighting a losing battle. My knees were clinging on for dear life and my feet were rooted. In the wrong direction. I wanted to push off. Turn. But it wasn’t happening.
I’ve been learning to ski for three seasons and I’ve never felt resistance like it. I could always trick myself into thinking I was a pro, imagining that someone not as good as me was watching and start to ski like I always knew how.
Something stronger was stopping me from making that turn. It wasn’t just about skiing, it wasn’t even fear of it all going wrong. It was fear of it all going right. What if I could actually do it? Go beyond my boundaries and feel the adrenalin kick in as I let myself race toward the unknown?
I’ve decided to push over that edge. It’s scary, but I’m ready to let go and enjoy the speed.