A little light and shade

 

I’ve not been blogging so much lately, because quite frankly, I’m exhausted!

There’s so much that I want to do and so little energy available to do it, sometimes I feel like I’m on a merry-go-round; waiting for it to stop so I can just get off for a little while. Then of course, I must get right back on, because life doesn’t stop in the same way. Bills still need to be paid, careers can pass you by, relationships need to be maintained and dreams still need to be realised (or dreamed about).

Right now, I would love to find a way to pause the merry-go-round, but it’s just not that easy. Here are the things I need to keep going:

1. Delivering in my work – existing and aspirational
2. Travelling between UK and Switzerland for love, family and friends. I’m tired of trying to explain why it’s just not that easy to ‘meet up when I’m over’ though it’s nice everyone wants to!
3. Learning German. It’s hard work and needs homework.
4. Keeping the BiAm and I in sync and in tact. A joint effort, but it takes a lot of focus for us with so much going on!
5. Blogging. Because I love it and it keeps me sane – when I run out of energy for this it’s getting serious
6. Socialising in both countries. This often gets shelved, it’s a step too far. But life can be a little lonely without it.
7. My health. I love to swim, but keep getting viruses so I can’t do so much!
8. Text messages and voicemails. Sometimes these just come at the wrong time – normally when I’m doing one of the above. Sorry guys!
9. Relaxing. I try to make time every week, it’s really important. But it means some other ‘stuff’ has to fall by the wayside.
10. Paying bills in both countries – just annoying!
11. Tax returns in both countries. Say no more.
12. Writing lists. Yes, I make work for myself but they’re essential to stop me freaking out all the time about what I need to do.
13. Planning for the future. I almost live there and that doesn’t make the present any easier, in spite of the fact that I don’t actually know what it is. Control freak-ness coming out…..

Sounds a but negative doesn’t it? But let’s turn it on it’s head:

1. I have a job and can do lots of great stuff. I have kept delivering for the lat 16 years and this opens so many doors for the future – if I actually do something about it.
2. How many people get to live an international lifestyle? Between Zurich and London; seeing lots of things from lots of different perspectives.
3. Ditto. Learning a new language at 33 is a real achievement.
4. We’re lucky that we have a strong enough relationship to do this, even if it’s hard on us, we know we’ll always come out on top.
5. It’s exactly that – fun. Blogging is a great creative outlet that many people just don’t feel comfortable doing.
6. At least I actually get asked to go places and don’t sit on my own like Billy No Mates (English term for someone with no friends).
7. I actually get to swim outside in the sun in the summer and ski in the winter!
8. At least people are calling me, I’d be upset if they weren’t.
9. So many people don’t even factor relaxation into their lives. I didn’t until I came here, it’s fun to learn the art!
10. Bills. At least I can finally afford to pay them – for now, at least.
11. Learning about tax is always useful. Hmmmm.
12. Lists are fun to tick off.
13. It’s much better to live the in the moment. I might be fighting that one, but at least I’m aware of it.

So the moral of the story is, there are two sides to every story.

Positive and negative.

Ying and yang.

What people don’t always realise about me is that I spend a lot of my time turning the negative into the positive. But when it gets to me, everything becomes so much more negative that it ever was!

It’s something I’m trying to understand and to learn about. It’s something I’m baffled by even at this stage if my life and it’s something that is broadly affected by whether I like what I am doing in my life or not and the weather!

But it begs the question: Who says we need to be happy all the time?

Why should we always look on the bright side?

How can you appreciate the good times without the bad?

And what is life without a little light and shade?

Answers on a postcard …..

You might like Standing in the way of control

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One response to “A little light and shade

  1. It sounds like most of what you have is positive, and many would wish for that.
    I too like swimming and I am learning German for my masters, and the only thing I found that hinders my progress in both is the negative… the negative I let and allow to take over. Shade is there to make the light more prominent, so we should not miss it, and try to bath more in its warmth.

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