Why, why, why do I feel the need to apologise for everything? Or at the least, ask a question or make a statement with an air of apology!
‘I’m sorry to bother you….’
‘If you wouldn’t mind…..’
‘I’m awfully sorry, but…..’
‘If you still mean it…..’
‘I understand if you don’t want to…..’
It’s so frustrating! And I think it is one of my biggest barriers to actually getting things done. It’s difficult enough being English when it comes to apologising, we have this thing called extreme politeness….
‘I’m sorry for breathing, but could you please serve me in this shop – even though it’s your job?’
….but layer on top of that personality defects and you have trouble! Nobody takes you seriously, because you don’t.
‘I’m really sorry to ask, but would you mind letting me work for you?’
Nope. It doesn’t work! I need to take a leaf out of the native German book – I have never once heard:
‘Tut mir leid, aber konnte ich bestellen bitte, wenn Sie Zeit haben?’
You would just say ‘I would like to order please’. No debate, no question, no apology. I’m sorry if that is not a correct translation.
Actually, I’m not – because I tried and that is what counts. Just like I am not sorry to ask the time, to ask assistance or to be myself.
I’m also not sorry to tell someone a better way of doing something when it benefits them, or to accept help when it’s offered to me.
The scary thing is,quite I don’t believe my own words. I think it will take some practice to stop apologising for who I am and what I can do (but don’t do, because I’m sorry for it!), so I will try to start now.
I renounce apologising!!!!!
Unless I do something wrong of course…..