So what is the value in being valued?
The word value itself evokes a higher purpose; a way of viewing something important and of course, valuable.
I started thinking about this last week, when I realised I was feeling a new emotion and wanted to find out what it was.
As I tried to understand this strange and slightly uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach; I considered the facts. Not something I do lightly.
When did it happen? Was there a pattern? What had changed?
I have a lot of good people around me; so surely I feel valued everyday? But I didn’t feel like this everyday. What was wrong with me?
On reflection, I’ve actually felt this feeling on and off for a long time. Often thinking that it was the result of too much drinking the night before, when I’d opened up to someone a bit or made a new friend. Or when I’d been given a compliment. Strange that something good can make you feel bad.
And when did I realise this? Living in Zurich has opened my eyes to a lot of things; probably because living somewhere and experiencing somewhere new reminds you fully of who you are, where you came from and how you got where you are now.
And expressing that through art and writing grounded me; to a place in my heart I hadn’t been since before I was 17. A valuable lesson.
Then I realised something significant.
The reason I felt uncomfortable was that I wasn’t valuing what others and my writing was bringing me.
I wasn’t valuing myself!
Moving country = not valued by me. Working hard everyday = not valued by me. The effort required to keep a relationship going in two different countries = not valued by me. The fact that nobody is perfect = not valued by me. Learning a new language and how to ski in my thirties = not valued by me.
You understand the trigger. You see the pattern. But what has changed?
And how does blogging make me feel valued? It’s a great way to share my thoughts with like minded people and share mutual appreciation of others’ ideas and concepts. A place where you can reflect on the value you bring to yourself and others.
But for me, blogging can easily lose it’s value when it becomes a marketing tool: how many ‘likes’ actually like what you wrote and comment because they mean it?
The value of blogging for me on a personal level is clear; I can be myself and not have to apologise for it or adapt my style for my audience – all well and good in the business context but for me my audience are the people who like what I say; otherwise they wouldn’t read it.
So thanks friends, family, and fellow bloggers for helping me realise that the person that should value me most, is me.